gettin' up in my business

here's a google search you'd think a banking institution would want to avoid:

BMO and vagina

and yet,
with their well woman insurance,
the Bank of Montreal is embarking into the unchartered territory of vulva cancer

cbc radio did a phone-in show this week about ontario schools that don't have, or are closing, their libraries.  seems there's this dumb idea that computers are all you need - forget books... no one actually reads anymore...  the internet is suppose to fill all those gaps - yikes!

and much thanks to nancy over at flying solo for the pic as well as more fuel for my fire

guelph police: FAIL

this week in guelph a woman was knocked down in a crosswalk
the tribune and the wellington advertiser reported it

but we saw it in the mercury, along with a 1/2 page photo of an unidentified woman sitting in the passenger side seat of a car while a police officer was squatting on the road, looking up into her face.

her pretty face. her wavy, long hair.

and was she charged with careless driving?
no, the charge was unsafe turn
2 points.
the same charge as improper opening of a car door
or not wearing a seatbelt

Guelph police, you've just earned yourself a FAIL

well well

from the website well.ca:

Well.ca is Canada’s largest online health & beauty store. From coast to coast, we want to provide you with your favourite health and beauty products

health?
click on the link and you'll see they are peddaling chips, and chocolates, and candy!

again I say: health?

deluded much?

recently seen post at the hs-ont egroup:

I'm looking for a private tutor to work with 4 homeschooled children.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, from 8:30am-12:30am. Pay would be $300 a week.
We would want the core subjects covered - reading, spelling, grammar, math - with some history, geography and social studies included. We also want the curriculum to be non religious in nature. The ages of the children will be 5-10 years.

so let's price that out:
since a school year is 40 weeks, this family is willing to spend $12,000 for a tutor. wow. maybe this seems like a large sum of money.
except it's not.


private schools cost TONS of moolah - $12,000 might cover one semester - and that's for one child.

this family expects 4 children - of different ages (that's important, you'll see later) - to be educated for a mere $12,000.



oh?
but all that yummy money goes straight to the tutor/teacher. surely, that's a good gig - 16 hours of work a week. that's $18.75/hr.
but wait.
what about prep time?
there's 7 subjects listed. and 4 levels of ability (dif ages - i said i'd explain why it mattered). that means you not only prep for grammar - but you prep for 4 levels of grammar!
i'm gonna be extremely generous and say 8 hours of prep time a week (but really, that'd be a miracle: what with the 28 permutations of subjects and levels). with 8 hours of prep: that makes it $12.50/hr.
slightly better than a babysitter.
except you're a babysitter that's supposed to teach all 4 of your charges reading, writing & 'rithmetic

and after all that - your employer will be monitoring you continually, and will likely provide input at the worst times (say, after you've already blocked 16 weeks of lessons in ancient rome, she'll decide that you should be studying medieval times because a new exhibit is coming to the ROM and couldn't you just fit that in?)

but hey - if you find that chump: bring her here!

i'm gonna up-chuck

what does a girl have to do to watch the pilot of Chuck on dvd ?
turns out: open a veritable matryoshka of packaging!

first there's the cardboard box from amazon. ditch that... here's my boxed set (seasons 1-3) which is shrinkwrapped, sure. i expected that.
open that up to better see the cardboard sleeve - which is holding the 3 dvds. pop them out. what?? the set of three is also shrinkwrapped? and when you open that - the individual dvds are shrinkwrapped too?!
fine! open the damn dvd labelled season 1. yup it's got a cardboard sleeve. remove that to get to the plastic dvd case. "oh, my! i hope it's okay. did the shipping process damage something?"

so:
i had to unwrap 3 sets of shrinkwrap, remove 3 layers of cardboard, and open a thick plastic container - just to get to season one.
crazy, man

danger-stranger

careful Canadians - there's a danger lurking here that is banned in the USA...


that's right.
these little babies are illegal in America because... get this... they are a choking hazard.

um...

you mean a choking hazard like:
* a peanut in the shell
* a magnetic rock
* a fat baby carrot


all of these are about the size of the toy in kinder egg. in fact kinder egg toys are alot like Lego minifigs, but they aren't banned in america.

hmmm.
surely american kids can tell the difference between food & toys....

well, if they looked at it, i mean

fail

or as stupid as the guy who wrote your instead of you're

i'm bringing stupid back

justin timberlake, you look like a grampa in that ugly hat!

but
would you believe, you can follow in his tacky footsteps and buy one if you so choose?

singulair - ly stupid

this drug (like all drugs) comes with a safety pamphlet where side effects are listed and instructs the user which steps to take

singulair lists 3 possible actions:
* keep using but notify your doctor if the symptom is mild
* keep using but notify your doctor if the symptom is severe
* stop the drug immediately and notify your doctor

according to this safety pamphlet, when faced with the side effect of hallucinations, you should keep using the drug, and only notify your doctor if the hallucinations are severe.
like, somewhere in the world, people are having mild hallucinations

huh?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! where did that thing come from?!

ummm...he he

"I think i just pooped my pants..."

face fixer

"I fix ugly people's faces"

big beard

He's got a big beard(:

ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha



this picture is almost as funny as how you look(:

first award goes to...

the wombat who sat on the blogspot address Blithering Idiot forcing us to add a THE to our blog

only ONE post!
back in july!
poop post, or get off the pot